#56 Lose Weight & Feel Great

#56 Lose Weight & Feel Great

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My friend Crys­tal got me back into shape last year. I’ve giv­en her a lit­tle plug after my main sto­ry. She real­ly helped me lose weight & feel great!
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LOSE WEIGHT & FEEL GREATBack around 1978 I lost $400 in one day wear­ing that phrase! (or some­thing that sound­ed just like it)

That was back in the ’70s when a com­pa­ny that sold herbal sup­ple­ments via your typ­i­cal pyra­mid multi-​level mar­ket­ing scheme recruit­ed (by means of over-​the-​top “rah-​rah” meet­ings & con­ven­tions) any­one who want­ed to get rich quick & stay healthy at the same time. I bought into the dream­scheme, stocked my liv­ing room full of every type of sup­ple­ment, ton­ic & snake oil the com­pa­ny had to offer, & head­ed out on my first day, wear­ing my shiny new Lose Weight — Feel Great lapel but­ton near­ly the size of a hock­ey puck, to make an overnight killing. After all, I was in top shape, toned & tan, & fig­ured any­one would assume a few sup­ple­ments a day took me from a fat slob to an Atlas in just a few weeks. (In actu­al­i­ty, I had been work­ing out for years.)

I did­n’t get a sin­gle nib­ble. Instead, I lost over $400 in one day. I was so excit­ed about wear­ing that damn badge & mak­ing my easy for­tune that I for­got all about my reg­u­lar job, my loy­al clients & dead­lines for designs. (It was my fault, not the MLM’s. Just not for me.)

I tore that but­ton off that evening & nev­er did anoth­er MLM again. But at least the phrase, a slo­gan of the era, prompt­ed this edi­tion of Amper­Art. (This com­pletes the first Adver­tis­ing Slo­gan series, one slo­gan per month through­out 2013. You can see the entire list here.) Read More

#54 Stop & Shop

54 Stop & Shop

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Amper­Art #54, Stop & Shop, is the lat­est in the Amper­Art Adver­tis­ing Slo­gan series. But far more impor­tant, it’s an hon­or­able men­tion to all you die-​hard Black Fri­day shop­pers who prob­a­bly are read­ing this on your brand new 90%-off tablet, smart­phone, or even flat screen tv–after wait­ing in line all night, get­ting crushed by thou­sands of oth­er bum­bling idiots (I meant to say savvy shop­pers, excuse me) & final­ly get­ting to the cash reg­is­ter with the very last prod­uct of its kind in the store. It’s prob­a­bly cracked & miss­ing a part or two – but who cares, it was on sale!

black fri mob

I should have titled this one Stop & Shop & Drop – as in drop every­thing the sale’s start­ing, or drop dead as you’re tram­pled by the mob.

As stat­ed on dic​tio​nary​.com:

When you stop to think about it, the use of black to describe a mas­sive shop­ping day con­tra­dicts the his­to­ry of oth­er “black” days. In fact, Black Fri­day orig­i­nal­ly ref­ered to Sept 24, 1869, when the col­lapse of a gold spec­u­la­tion plan took the stock mar­ket down. Black Mon­day is known as “the most noto­ri­ous day in finan­cial his­to­ry (Oct 19, 1987.)”

So where did the lucra­tive con­no­ta­tion of Black Fri­day come from? Two pos­si­bil­i­ties exist:

In Philadel­phia, where the sales orig­i­nat­ed, police deemed the retail event Black Fri­day because the amount of traf­fic was a black spot on their hol­i­day week­end.

The more pop­u­lar expla­na­tion has to do with the col­ors of ink accoun­tants tra­di­tion­al­ly used for not­ing prof­it and loss. A com­pa­ny “in the red” is record­ing loss, red ink being the tra­di­tion­al col­or for not­ing neg­a­tive finances. “In the black” means just the oppo­site; thus the notion that Black Fri­day will force those book­keep­ers to put away the red ink, and get out the black.

(See full arti­cle at http://​blog​.dic​tio​nary​.com/​b​l​a​c​k​-​f​r​i​d​a​y​-​m​o​n​d​ay/)

listen up!I may still have my old cell phone, bruised pots & pans, & a lap­top that’s still run­ning an OS from the begin­ning of time, but I also have no crushed toes, no bro­ken ribs, & most of my san­i­ty.

Enjoy your new toys, savvy shop­pers.

Orig­i­nal size: 20x30 inch­es
Pro­gram: Pho­to­shop
Font: Impact
Image of shop­ping cart: www​.shelf​sup​pli​ers​.net
Image of mob: www​.hud​son​hori​zons​.com/​p​u​b​/​i​m​a​g​e​s​/​b​l​a​c​k​f​r​i​d​a​y​m​o​b​s​.​png


#53 Deep Dark & Mysterious

Deep Dark & Mysterious

Haunt­ing Hal­loween. This Amper­Art piece dou­bles as a Hal­loween theme & a pos­si­ble entry in my Adver­tis­ing Slo­gans series, as I vague­ly recall see­ing this a long time ago adver­tis­ing who-​knows-​what. We’ll let that be a deep, dark mys­tery.

Coin­ci­den­tal­ly, my main graph­ics com­put­er went dark yes­ter­day for no appar­ent rea­son. After unsuc­cess­ful­ly reviv­ing it after 4 hours of prob­ing & tin­ker­ing, it remains a deep, dark unsolved mys­tery. Which is why, hav­ing to use a less-​than-​optimal com­put­er for graph­ic design, this Amper­Art mate­ri­al­ized at the mid­night hour on Hal­loween.

Orig­i­nal size: 20x30”
Pro­gram: Pho­to­shop
Fonts: Univers, Ush­er­wood (amper­sand)