#87 Cold & Flu

87 Cold & Flu

 #87 Cold & Flu
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What hap­pens when you have 3 dead­lines to meet, you have the cold & flu, you’re sneez­ing, have a headache & you just feel like crap?

The com­put­er crash­es of course & you have to start all over on a huge project.

But I inter­rupt­ed the “pay­ing” projects to get a spe­cial one done — this mon­th’s Amper­Art — just for you. Com­ing up with the title Cold & Flu was super easy as I’m liv­ing it! The type­style & col­ors are based on typ­i­cal pack­ag­ing & store sig­nage for the cold & flu season.

And yes, I real­ly was 90% com­plete with a huge board game design project when Pho­to­shop unex­pect­ed­ly quit & I lost all that work. That has­n’t hap­pened in years. So once again: save, save, save!

The upside of catch­ing a cold & flu? I love the taste of Nyquil, Luden’s honey-​licorice cough drops & Pine Bros. gum­my cher­ry lozenges.

smith-brothers-cough-drops-14ct-box-14One fond mem­o­ry is that of Smith Broth­ers Cough Drops, both Wild Cher­ry and Black Licorice. I loved those! In fact, that was the very first cough drop. Sad­ly, they have been dis­con­tin­ued. (For those of you inter­est­ed in mar­ket­ing: By chance, the word “Trade” appeared under the pic­ture of William & the word “Mark” under that of Andrew. Thus, it hap­pened by a mere coin­ci­dence that the famous Smith Broth­ers’ trade­mark was born and the Smith Broth­ers became known to gen­er­a­tions of Amer­i­cans as Trade & Mark.)

Anoth­er favorite, and I don’t recall who made them, was  a long hard candy-​type cough drop with a pecu­liar honey-​horsehound-​medicinal fla­vor. They were a brown­ish col­or & tast­ed so bad they were deli­cious­ly addicting.

Stay warm & dry this hol­i­day sea­son. Try not to catch the cold & flu, espe­cial­ly if you’re on a heavy deadline.


chaz sez ...

Check out the new “chaz sez” blog at Des​i​moneDesign​.com, my com­mer­cial graph­ic design web­site. It’s most­ly about design, typog­ra­phy, print­ing, pub­lish­ing & mar­ket­ing, but on occa­sion I’ll divert to a side­ways top­ic that just can’t escape my rant­i­ng & raving.


Production notes for #87 Cold & Flu:
Original size: 20x30 inches

Program: Adobe InDesign
Fonts: Helvetica Compressed
Ampersand: Helvetica Compressed
Inspiration: Sneezing, Coughing & Aching Bones
You may repost the image. Please credit Amper​Art​.com.
To download a full-​size high-​resolution 11x17-​inch poster, click on the image.

For pro­fes­sion­al graph­ic design, please vis­it Des­i­mone Design.

Desimone? Damn good!

#86 Eye of Newt & Toe of Frog

Witch's cauldren brewing an ampersand
 #86 Eye of Newt & Toe of Frog
Click image to view full size or download poster for gallery-​quality printing & framing.
This is a high-​resolution pdf & may take a few minutes to download.
Find printing tips & framing ideas here.

So, what’s for dinner?

Eye of newt, & toe of frog,
Wool of bat, & tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork, & blind-​worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg, & owlet’s wing,—
For a charm of pow­er­ful trou­ble,
Like a hell-​broth boil & bub­ble.
Dou­ble, dou­ble toil & trou­ble;
Fire burn, & cal­dron bubble.

This line, uttered by the three ugly witch­es in Shake­speare’s Mac­beth as they stir their boil­ing caul­dron*, is one of the most famil­iar phras­es asso­ci­at­ed with tra­di­tion­al witchcraft.


RIP BLACKWOLF, AMOS & ANDY, BRIQUETTE, JEEPERS CREEPERS, & ALL MY FRIENDS& NEIGHBORSBLACK CATS WHO WILL BE CELEBRATING NATIONAL BLACK CAT DAY IN HALLOWEEN HEAVEN

witch and shutterbomb smoking pumpkin

Brew up eerie smoke & fog for your Halloween photos

Spook up your Hal­loween pho­tos with awe­some smoke effects. I don’t mean pho­to­shop­ping it in, but using real smoke. It’s excit­ing & fun & far more real­is­tic, plus any mod­els in the shoot have a blast. 

Grab your caul­dron & brew this witch’s recipe into an eerie fog. Or if you don’t hap­pen to have any eyes of newt or frog toes in your pantry, there’s a much sim­pler way to achieve a bewitch­ing Hal­loween smoke effect & it looks even spookier.

Shutter Bombs — no cauldron required

Recent­ly I came across Shut­ter Bombs, a com­pa­ny that spe­cial­izes in mak­ing sen­sa­tion­al smoke bombs specif­i­cal­ly for pho­tog­ra­phers. Their range of smoke effects & col­ors is amaz­ing & so is their cus­tomer ser­vice. Cre­ate ghast­ly Hal­loween effects with Shut­ter Bombs, like this:

Vis­it shut​ter​bombs​.com


Witch’s Brew Recipe & Shopping list

Here’s the modern-​day gro­cery list of what’s real­ly in Shake­speare’s caul­dron. You might have to seek out a spe­cial­ty shop for some of these items, but they do exist. I’ve added a spe­cial ingre­di­ent too, but that one’s real­ly hard to find:

  • Eye of newt — mus­tard seed
  • Toe of frog — buttercup
  • Wool of bat — hol­ly leaves
  • Tongue of dog — houndstongue
  • Adders fork — adders tongue
  • Blind-​worm — an actu­al tiny snake thought to be venomous
  • Tail of amper­sand — a curly lit­tle friend of ours (You don’t mind, do you, Bill?)

Throw every­thing into your caul­dron, fill with liq­uid, & boil. Dis­tilled spir­its works best, of course.

Casting the spell

When prac­tic­ing black mag­ic, mus­tard seeds (par­tic­u­lar­ly the black seeds) cast a spell of strife, con­fu­sion, dis­cord & dis­rup­tion. Inter­est­ing­ly enough, though, oth­er types of mus­tard seeds are thought to pro­vide pro­tec­tion against witch­es. Leg­end goes that witch­es are pre­dis­posed to count­ing & pick­ing up things, so if you scat­ter mus­tard seeds around your front door, bed & prop­er­ty, the witch will nev­er have time to get to you as she will be busy count­ing mus­tard seeds.

Newt?

About that newt — is there such a thing? Were there poor lit­tle crit­ters hop­ping about with­out eyes?

Actu­al­ly, all of the ingre­di­ents in the witch­es brew are ancient terms for herbs, flow­ers & plants. Some say witch­es gave these items gross & dis­turb­ing names to deter oth­er peo­ple from prac­tic­ing witchcraft.

It turns out “eye of newt” is sim­ply the seeds for a pop­u­lar hot dog mus­tard. How­ev­er, the clas­sic scene from Mac­beth just would­n’t be the same if his char­ac­ters spoke of boil­ing mus­tard seeds, but­ter­cups & hol­ly leaves.  Adapt­ed from http://​peo​ple​.how​stuff​works​.com/​i​s​-​e​y​e​-​o​f​-​n​e​w​t​-​r​e​a​l​-​t​h​i​n​g​.​htm


*Spell-​ing

Speak­ing of spell, note the spelling of “cal­dron” in the work of Shake­speare, in con­trast to the Amer­i­can Eng­lish “caul­dron.” Sans-“u” is also com­mon among British. Ear­li­er, how­ev­er, there was no “l” either: in Mid­dle Eng­lish lit­er­a­ture c. 1250 – 1300 you’ll read “caud­eron.” Basi­cal­ly, it means “warm” from the Late Latin “caldāria.”


AWAKEN PAST HALLOWEEN AMPERART
Ghosts & Gob­lins (2011)
Bats Rats & Black Cats (2012)
Deep Dark & Mys­te­ri­ous (2013)
Creak & Quake (2014)
Creepy & Crawly (2015)


Production notes for #86 Eye of Newt & Toe of Frog:
Original size: 20x30 inches
Program: Adobe Photoshop
Fonts: Wilhelm Klingspor Gotisch, Park Avenue, Arnold Böcklin
Ampersand: Arnold Böcklin
Images: dream​stime​.com (manipulated)
You may repost the image. Please credit Amper​Art​.com.
To download a full-​size high-​resolution 11x17-​inch poster, click on the image.

Desimone Design

Chaz sez...
Want more?
Rants & raves mostly about design, sometimes about the universe.
An occasional bit of useful advice.
Read the blog:
des​i​monedesign​.com/​c​h​a​z​-​sez

#95 Apples & Oranges


#95 Apples & Oranges
Click to view full-​size or download hi-​rez image for gallery-​quality printing and framing.
This is a high-​resolution pdf & may take a few minutes to download.
Find printing tips & framing ideas here.

Although Amper­Art #95 is titled Apples & Oranges, it was inspired by an inci­dent I could have called Apples & Peach­es. You see, the oth­er day I went to the mar­ket for three pounds of peach­es. I had pur­chased just one the day before & it was so sweet I went back to stock up. Okay, I admit it was also the last day of the sale. These deli­cious peach­es were only 69 cents a pound.

I brought my few items — three pounds of peach­es & maybe one pound of every­thing else — up to the check­er & she rang me up for $20 & change. Seemed like a lot for just peach­es, a head of let­tuce & two cans of tuna (cat treats — if I ate that stuff I’d prob­a­bly be healthy). When I got to the car I real­ized it was indeed way too much mon­ey for those few items. So I checked the receipt & sure enough, she rang up three pounds of organ­ic Fuji apples at 4.75/lb.! There’s a big dif­fer­ence between apples & peach­es — just like there’s a tremen­dous dif­fer­ence between apples & oranges — but not when they look alike, I guess.

95-apples-&-oranges--NOT-CROPPED

Judg­ing from this, she could have rung me up for three pounds of organ­ic heir­loom toma­toes on the vine at $7.50/lb.

If you, my reg­u­lar read­er, are won­der­ing if this is the same store that sold me a box of 50 peanut but­ter cook­ies that turned out to actu­al­ly be cinnamon-​apple cook­ies (dis­gust­ing!) — and the box was short by three cook­ies, no less — nope, it was the rival around the cor­ner. Seems like they’re com­pet­ing for incompetence.

 


chaz sez ...

applebiteThis has been an app­li­cious month. Besides the inci­dent at the store which inspired Apples & Oranges, I cre­at­ed a new busi­ness card and relat­ed mate­ri­als for my very good friend, Jim Bar­row, who is all about Apple and actu­al­ly taught me how to plug in my first Mac. He’s been a Mac guru since 1984. His web­site is even called ihatepc​.com!

If you’re in the Los Ange­les or out­ly­ing area (includ­ing Orange) and you need help with Mac installs, train­ing, upgrades, net­work­ing or soft­ware, Jim’s your guy. Go to ihatepc​.com. You’ll love Jim.


Production notes for #95 Apples & Oranges:
Original size: 20x30 inches
Programs: Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Photoshop
Fonts: Apple Garamond, Futura
Ampersand: hand-drawn
Credits for #95 Apples & Oranges:
Peach: imlov​ingth​is​.com
Apple: wisegeek​.com
Tomato: incred​i​ble​seeds​.ca

For pro­fes­sion­al graph­ic design, please vis­it Des­i­mone Design.

Desimone? Damn good!