#56 Lose Weight & Feel Great

#56 Lose Weight & Feel Great

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My friend Crystal got me back into shape last year. I’ve given her a little plug after my main story. She really helped me lose weight & feel great!
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LOSE WEIGHT & FEEL GREAT—Back around 1978 I lost $400 in one day wearing that phrase! (or something that sounded just like it)

That was back in the ’70s when a company that sold herbal supplements via your typical pyramid multi-level marketing scheme recruited (by means of over-the-top “rah-rah” meetings & conventions) anyone who wanted to get rich quick & stay healthy at the same time. I bought into the dreamscheme, stocked my living room full of every type of supplement, tonic & snake oil the company had to offer, & headed out on my first day, wearing my shiny new Lose Weight—Feel Great lapel button nearly the size of a hockey puck, to make an overnight killing. After all, I was in top shape, toned & tan, & figured anyone would assume a few supplements a day took me from a fat slob to an Atlas in just a few weeks. (In actuality, I had been working out for years.)

I didn’t get a single nibble. Instead, I lost over $400 in one day. I was so excited about wearing that damn badge & making my easy fortune that I forgot all about my regular job, my loyal clients & deadlines for designs. (It was my fault, not the MLM’s. Just not for me.)

I tore that button off that evening & never did another MLM again. But at least the phrase, a slogan of the era, prompted this edition of AmperArt. (This completes the first Advertising Slogan series, one slogan per month throughout 2013. You can see the entire list here.) (more…)

#54 Stop & Shop

54 Stop & Shop

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AmperArt #54, Stop & Shop, is the latest in the AmperArt Advertising Slogan series. But far more important, it’s an honorable mention to all you die-hard Black Friday shoppers who probably are reading this on your brand new 90%-off tablet, smartphone, or even flat screen tv–after waiting in line all night, getting crushed by thousands of other bumbling idiots (I meant to say savvy shoppers, excuse me) & finally getting to the cash register with the very last product of its kind in the store. It’s probably cracked & missing a part or two–but who cares, it was on sale!

black fri mob

I should have titled this one Stop & Shop & Drop–as in drop everything the sale’s starting, or drop dead as you’re trampled by the mob.

As stated on dictionary.com:

When you stop to think about it, the use of black to describe a massive shopping day contradicts the history of other “black” days. In fact, Black Friday originally refered to Sept 24, 1869, when the collapse of a gold speculation plan took the stock market down. Black Monday is known as “the most notorious day in financial history (Oct 19, 1987.)”

So where did the lucrative connotation of Black Friday come from? Two possibilities exist:

In Philadelphia, where the sales originated, police deemed the retail event Black Friday because the amount of traffic was a black spot on their holiday weekend.

The more popular explanation has to do with the colors of ink accountants traditionally used for noting profit and loss. A company “in the red” is recording loss, red ink being the traditional color for noting negative finances. “In the black” means just the opposite; thus the notion that Black Friday will force those bookkeepers to put away the red ink, and get out the black.

(See full article at http://blog.dictionary.com/black-friday-monday/)

listen up!I may still have my old cell phone, bruised pots & pans, & a laptop that’s still running an OS from the beginning of time, but I also have no crushed toes, no broken ribs, & most of my sanity.

Enjoy your new toys, savvy shoppers.

Original size: 20×30 inches
Program: Photoshop
Font: Impact
Image of shopping cart: www.shelfsuppliers.net
Image of mob: www.hudsonhorizons.com/pub/images/blackfridaymobs.png


#53 Deep Dark & Mysterious

Deep Dark & Mysterious

Haunting Halloween. This AmperArt piece doubles as a Halloween theme & a possible entry in my Advertising Slogans series, as I vaguely recall seeing this a long time ago advertising who-knows-what. We’ll let that be a deep, dark mystery.

Coincidentally, my main graphics computer went dark yesterday for no apparent reason. After unsuccessfully reviving it after 4 hours of probing & tinkering, it remains a deep, dark unsolved mystery. Which is why, having to use a less-than-optimal computer for graphic design, this AmperArt materialized at the midnight hour on Halloween.

Original size: 20×30″
Program: Photoshop
Fonts: Univers, Usherwood (ampersand)