#110 He She Me & We

110 He She Me & We#110 He She Me & We
Click image to view full size or download poster for gallery-quality printing & framing.
This is a high-resolution pdf & may take a few minutes to download.
Find printing tips & framing ideas here.

Ampersand stars in hilarious music video

The ampersand looks kinda happy.AmperArt #110, He She Me & We, was inspired by a creative, fun & very funny video, Second Favorite Man, by Tight Pajamas. It features our favorite character, the fun & fabulous ampersand.

Watch the video!

 

Most of you know I love nudism & hate country music—not to mention I kinda like ampersands—so this video really made me a fan of Tight Pajamas. I laughed my naked ass off.

In the band’s own words:

“Second Favorite Man” is the debut single by the bay area’s Tight Pajamas. It addresses the “cheatin’ and lyin” you often find in country music, but in a totally unique way. In fact, it celebrates a kind of love traditionally bemoaned in country/western songs!

If you enjoy the song and the video, please consider sharing the link with your friends via social media. With your help, we think it has the potential to be spread far and wide.
You can support our work by downloading a copy of the song here [like Chaz did].
tightpajamas.bandcamp.com
Thank you for supporting weird art and the weird artists who make it!

Musicians:
Maurice Tani – lead vocals, electric guitar and bass,
Robert M Powell – Backing vocals and pedal steel guitar, engineering, mixing, mastering
Susie Davis – producer, backing vocals, piano
Pam Delgado – backing vocals

Not mentioned is the person who suggested the title of the AmperArt piece, He She Me & We: Jeff Greenwald. He co-wrote the song with Susie Davis & shot much of the video. (He’s the “rabbi” in one of the photos.) I checked out some of Jeff’s own videos & books. He’s a very interesting guy. His speech about Noah’s Ark is entertaining: Jeff Greenwald / Noah’s Ark

Please comment here.

 


chaz sez ...

Check out the new “chaz sez” blog at DesimoneDesign.com, my commercial graphic design website. It’s mostly about design, typography, printing, publishing & marketing, but on occasion I’ll divert to a sideways topic that just can’t escape my ranting & raving.


Production notes for #110 He She Me & We:
Original size: 20×30 inches

Program: Adobe Illustrator
Fonts: Cooper Black, Benguait Charisma
Ampersand: Benguait Charisma
Effects: Gradation intended to resemble a method of screen printing, common in the 1960s-70s-80s, as were the chosen typefaces.
You may repost the AmperArt image. Please credit AmperArt.com.
To download a full-size high-resolution 11×17-inch poster, click on the image.

For professional graphic design, please visit Desimone Design.

Desimone? Damn good!

#69 Stuffed & Dressed

Happy Thanksgiving!


#69 Stuffed & Dressed
Click to view full-size or download hi-rez image for gallery-quality printing and framing.
This is a high-resolution pdf & may take a few minutes to download.
Find printing tips & framing ideas here.

Posing for AmperArt #69 Stuffed & Dressed, Thomas T. Turkey stuffed himself into his finest tux & got all dressed up for Thanksgiving dinner.

Is that an ampertizer he’s offering you?


Colorful Thanksgiving Dinner Placeholders

Thanksgiving Placeholder

Here are your placeholders with this year’s AmperArt #69 Stuffed & Dressed artwork. Colorful and humorous—the kids will especially enjoy these. Click here or on the image to download the placeholders artwork, which you can print on standard size paper. Full instructions included.


Stuffing or Dressing?

While deliberating on the title for this piece, I wondered what the difference was between stuffed & dressed, or actually stuffing & dressing. Interestingly, it’s the same stuff (no pun intended) but called one or the other name in different parts of the country. Also, stuffing is usually cooked inside the turkey, while dressing is prepared separately. Here’s a map showing the regional preferences.

Stuffing vs Dressing regional prefs

There are many tips for cooking your Thanksgiving turkey & a great-sounding recipe for cornbread stuffing & dressing at the Butterball website. (These links are not sponsored. I’m just sharing what I’ve come across.)

Turkey Trivia Question:

What are those fancy little paper things called that are placed on turkey drumsticks (& on ampersands, at least in this month’s Stuffed & Dressed piece)? If you know, write it in the comments area. I was always intrigued by them as a kid, as they came in all different pastel colors (like pastel toilet paper—remember that?). My mom would put them on leg of lamb (the fancy paper things, not the toilet paper).

Happy Thanksgiving

to you & your family & friends, including the furry ones. (You will slip them some turkey under the table, won’t you?)


Production notes for #69 Stuffed & Dressed:
Original size: 20×30 inches
Program: Adobe Illustrator
Fonts: Parisian, Kalinga
Ampersand: Kalinga
Credits for #69 Stuffed & Dressed:
Turkey: Dreamstime.com
Patterns: Adobe Illustrator

For professional graphic design, please visit Desimone Design.

Desimone? Damn good!

#59 Weights & Measures

59-Weights-Measures

 

Click to view full-size or download hi-rez image for gallery-quality printing and framing. 
This is a high-resolution pdf & may take a few minutes to download.
Find printing tips & framing ideas here.

So the other day I pop into my local supermarket which happens to bake the best peanut butter cookies I’ve ever had—delicious peanut butter flavor & loaded with chunks of peanuts. I love peanut butter cookies & it’s always a treat when this store bakes them, which is too infrequently. They come in a tray of 50 for $5 which is a good deal itself, but it’s the special peanut butter flavor I’m after.

I put a tray in my basket & did the rest of my shopping. In line at the register, I sensed something was wrong with my tray of peanut butter cookies (I had bought many trays before). I counted the cookies through the transparent lid & there were only 44. I told the checker I’d be right back & to take the next people in line.

I was gone quite awhile.

Back in the bakery section, I counted the cookies in each & every tray, and they varied from 37 to 46—not a single one was the full 50. I went back to the checkstand (where my ice cream was melting) and asked for a manager. Not to make a scene, but rather to inform of the issue & save the next unaware customer from being cheated. The manager was rather surprised upon counting several of the trays herself & quickly offered to “rob from Peter” to bring my tray up to the full measure.

She opens the lid, stops for a moment & says “These don’t smell like peanut butter.” Handed me one gratis to confirm & sure enough it was their new disgusting “apple crisp” cookie. (Attention bakers: apple crisp is done in a baking pan, not in a cookie.) The little bits of apple sure looked like peanuts but sure didn’t taste like them. & yes, all the trays contained apple crisp cookies, not peanut butter as labeled.

So one more thing to add to the list in this little hick town I live in: people can’t count & they can’t read, either. But they sure can bake excellent peanut butter cookies…when they’re actually peanut butter cookies.


listen up!

Why isn’t the United States on the metric system? I’ll tell you why—we’re too damn lazy, and I got proof. Back in the 70s or 80s several freeways in California installed highway signs that were black, not green (that alone was beauty to my eyes), displaying the upcoming exits in kilometers. And several gas stations switched their pumps to liters. How easy and efficient that was, computing distances and volume simply by factoring by 10, 100, or 1000. Easy and efficient while it lasted, anyway. Soon everything was converted back to our convoluted miles and gallons.

I can’t understand why architects try to scale things by 8ths and 16ths when using millimeters and centimeters is so much easier and accurate. I measure everything in metrics–times 10, divide by 10, etc. Anyone who can’t figure out simple metric calculations probably still uses a slide rule just to make math difficult.

Why are soda bottles in the US labeled 1.5L and so on? I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a sneaky way to reduce the volume without anyone noticing. Remember half-gallon ice cream tubs? Today they’re 1.5L, which is far less than half a gallon. (1/2 gallon = 1.892 liters). I’m all for it, though. Maybe the metric system will catch on in this so-called progressive country after all.

I’ll give us credit for the currency system, though. That’s close to metric efficiency. The Euro has denominations similar to the US, but each bill is a colorful contemporary design, not black and green on every single note. Needless to say, America is behind on design, too. That’s another topic, though. And then there’s our prudishness about nudism. Yet another topic.

Gotta go get me a cup of coffee…or is that .23L? Cup is one US term I’ll stick with.


PRODUCTION NOTES:
Original size: 20×30 inches
Programs: Illustrator, Photoshop
Font: Rockwell
CREDITS:
Pointer: rubylane.com, Antique French Kitchen Scale: Balance de Famille
Apple: http://www.fowlerfarms.com/apple-introduction/ (5oz or 150 g is the average weight of an apple, according to the “great chart of apple varieties” at this website)